Thursday, 12 August 2010
when the rats suicided i knew
born with quicklime
& sleet in their head
coveralls in musical diagram
so when the rats suicided i chew
i enjoy you traumaless violin fire
was frantic screaming it is a priceless violin in
there musical diagnosis & the fields fell away to a jug
stars in that jug sun in that moon
sweet dirty hair
in my mouth
all night lorries
is •that• a communication device. are those strange fish existing in poetry. the birds above make a solitary sound. i only want your friendship. those old grey flickery riots with the sound off. i only want your friendship. 2 people on the bus talking excitedly in whispers. can be seen again in the windows of a shop. ambivalent weather? i owe money. are those strange fish in from out of a poem. they work by night by day they are invisibled. i keep the idea of your lips when they were & mine also. those old grey flickery riots with the sound on. everyone is happy now. yes.
"in 1978 i met a stranger called becky at waterloo station. i can't remember her name. in the years since 1978 i've often wanted to kill myself but haven't. she stood on the platform then walked up & down past me along the platform each time getting closer until she brushed against me. then she got on a train & i followed her onto the train & we left the train at a station & walked a short distance & had sex in a bedroom in a small terrace house backing on to the railway line. she had brown hair. i can't remember the colour of her hair. as she was walking up + down past me on the platform getting closer a woman looked at us & made a noise of disgust. she was much older than becky who was a little older than me. it was about 4 in the afternoon. i can remember the time. in the hours since then i've often wanted to kill myself but haven't. we didn't speak much. she said are you shy. i can't remember either of us saying anything. not a word. then i walked back to the station & got on a train & went away. i loved becky very much. but i never looked for her or went back to the small terrace house where we'd had sex. it wasn't a very warm afternoon & i wished i'd worn a coat or a jumper over my shirt"